…that I have been pondering.
#1: They say that in early recovery, floods of emotions pour into your soul that you may not be ready to handle. We are so used to drowning them out with alcohol or drugs that we are almost incapable of dealing with them without it. I ask this then, why the fuck can’t the emotions ever be good? Why not love and happiness? Why all this frustration, regret and fear instead? Maybe it’s just a bad day to ask this question.
#2: Ever wonder why it takes years, sometimes a whole lifetime to get to the top of your peak, while it takes only a few disastrous minutes to bring it all crashing down and have it fall spectacularly to pieces? What the fuck is that about?
I am really frustrated today. I wish I could just sleep and start it all over again. I absolutely hate the sunshine today. Today is the kind of day where I have to actually run through the list of ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’