This Christmas, someone said to me, “I just want you out of the house. All of you.” It was in a tone as if to say, “forever.”
My Christmas present to them is this: Wish Granted.
I would rather live in a shelter or on the streets than deal with this toxicity for one more second. The call will go into today and I will pack my bags and bow out of their life.
It was suggested that I stick it out until I can get permanent placement into a recovery home. I was going to bite the bullet, but this morning threw me over the edge.
This person has given me more than I could ask for and for that I am thankful. I have said many things in my anger during my manic episodes that I regret. I have apologized and I simply do not know what else to do. It is no excuse to treat me like complete crap every single day of my life…to the point I spin into panic attacks that last for hours, to the point it ruins every single morning, and to the point that I spend most of my time in therapy concentrated on this person rather than my own recovery.
I am done. And I am going to be homeless. Thank God.