Never in my life have I met such opposition to my work – work I consider to be beneficial to recovery. As you may know, I have over-stayed my welcome at my parent’s house. I’ve had to stay with them over the past year as I wait on disability. Waiting is killing me and if I didn’t have art or writing to fall back on, I don’t know where I’d be.
I woke up yesterday morning to my father yelling about my artwork. “She’ll get it out of the house, because I am tired of looking at it,” he yells at 6am. My Uncle came by this weekend to visit and Dad couldn’t even stomach to talk about my artwork with us. It was the one thing my Uncle and I could talk about – something that I am doing that is positive in my life. It makes me sick to even think about my father’s reaction to my work. I can understand someone not liking it, or even critiquing it…but to flat out deny that it’s worth anything just boils my blood. I couldn’t BEGIN to tell them my real plans for all of this, which include traveling, shows and Grad School for Art Therapy.
I also have two sales coming up at $40 a piece. I wanted to go out and buy $5 frames for these pieces. I have $0…as I wait on this funding. So, I asked if I could and he threw a fit and said he’s not supporting my artwork. I have some opportunities to set up shop and show my work, coming up. I can’t imagine what he’d say to me buying frames for all those pieces. It’s an investment and I know some will sell and make up for it, but he sees it all as complete crap. It’s either Depression or Mania – nothing else. It’s simply a hobby. It’s simply a way to pass time.
I had many other similar experiences this past weekend and I am baffled as to why. I suppose when you finally hit that vein of gold in your life, no one wants to believe it – no one trusts you to follow through with it – everyone has their dream-killer goggles on and likes to pick it apart, when they have never picked up a paintbrush or pen in their lives.
I do have some encouraging friends though that do believe in me, but it surely is taking a lot of mental strength to focus on their words and reactions, when I have a host of negativity surrounding me every minute of every day.