CRASH & BURN

True Euphoric Mania is really difficult to describe to people, and the aftermath, well…that is even harder to describe. So, I try to paint them a picture as simply as possible. Here it goes.

Imagine winning the lottery and getting a taste of what that may feel like. Imagine telling everyone about it and spending a few grand with reckless abandon…pure indulgence with no guilt whatsoever. What does that feel like? Salivating yet? Now imagine that someone ripped that all away from you…that the lottery was mistakenly given to the wrong person or that it was just a dream.

That is what it’s like to wake up from true euphoric mania. DEFLATED. And it’s not like rippin’ off a bandaid. It’s a slow, painful torture that lasts years.

Imagine waking up from the BEST dream you ever had, where everything was right with the world. Better than you could possibly imagine and everything and everyone was telling you that is was OKAY to enjoy the moment and live it up with NO GUILT or SHAME or WORRY. I mean just the absence of those three things alone are amazing. Imagine that. How does that feel? Now imagine waking up to reality. Ya.

That is what it’s like to wake up from the illusions that are lubricated by mania. It blows.

Imagine having an epic journey, vacation or trip. That lasts months. Total freedom. All the right folks for company. Even new people who seem to click perfectly into the scene. Now imagine what it feels like to come home after a trip like that. Depression much?? Vaca from your vaca, kinda vaca? Ya. Again, sucks.

That is what it’s like to have all the dreams you imagined to be ripped from your hands. That is what it feels like to have the most epic time in your life be dismissed as rubbish, delusions and to end up basically meaning nothing to the majority of people in your life, except for those that have gone through it.

Now this is pretty morbid, but it is kind of how it felt for me. Now imagine you are drowning in an ice-filled pond. You cannot surface and slowly hypothermia is taking over. You cannot breathe. You cannot move. By some stroke of luck, someone comes along to save you. They bring you to the surface and you finally catch your breath for a few short seconds. Imagine how that breath would feel to you? Now imagine that said savior, falls in with you by accident. Now you are both drowning. And the shore slips from view as you sink further into the waters with extra weight.

Catch my drift?

Recovery is a bitch. But we all gotta do it.


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