In your silence, I found my answer. In your relentless search for perfection, you have not found yours.
Silence speaks volumes. Perfection does not exist. Awareness, although hard to swallow, is key.
Forgive me as I stumble over my words, as speaking is new to me, even at this age.
I remember the day you told me that I was your “last hope”, as if the souls who had come before were no longer worth your love because they didn’t measure up to your idea of perfection and they were beyond your control. They no longer existed in your hearts from that day forward. And THAT is the message that I ingested that evening. That kind of pressure on a child will ruin some for the rest of their lives.
Luckily for me, I am aware. Fortunately, my introspection compensated for the inability to speak or express myself, and now that I have grown older, wiser and more confident…I am able to speak.
It’s a two-edged sword however, as ignorance is sometimes bliss. Awareness carries a very heavy load of responsibility, both for others and for the individual. A heavy burden that is sometimes too much to bare. But I pray to the powers that be, that as time wears on…it will become easier.