I WANTED MY DAMN COOKIE

I would say it took about 10 years for me to reach what I thought was my highest peak. Long journey to say the least. The closer I came, the more I saw it materialize in front of me.

Ya know what I saw when I got to the top? More peaks. To climb. But I needed a break. So I took a year off and sat on a rock and just dove within my own mind. It’s all I had. I had no strength to continue on at the time. It was time well spent and necessary for the remainder of the journey.

I now know that the journey inward will continue on forever. It wasn’t something that I was willing to face when I got to the top of my first peak, but damn was it essential to see.

Now I have a light burning within that will light my way as I trudge through the darkness on my path.

I jokingly posted on facebook last year about my journey to the ‘top’ of my peak. At that point, I thought I had ‘made it” and could rest the rest of my life. Seriously. I thought I was completely enlightened. WHOA, back up! I declared that I wanted my damn ‘cookie’ for my efforts. 🙂 Little did I know that after some deep self-reflection, the letting go of attachments, arrogance, and all that held me back … that PEACE was my cookie. Not validation from others, not even encouragement from others…just my own peace of mind and enough strength to continue on.

There are many more mountains to climb, and it was soooooo crushing to see that after I had been climbing for so long. But I now know deep within that the rest will not be so difficult to overcome as the first. I actualy look forward to the rest.

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