YOU ARE THE BILLOW.

I get it. I see it clearer now…why you did what you had to do. It wasn’t to keep me from committing suicide because you n I both know that I am too chicken shit to pull the trigger. Plus, you know that I still see a glimmer of magic left in my life. You know that is enough for me to hold on. No, all along, it was because I needed a fire under my ass n righteous anger to fuel a fight against an already crumbling system. You knew my fight lay in other realms where I could join others and lift the veil. I think you knew what this would do to me. I think you knew from the moment we met. I guess I really do have you standing by my side whether you are here or not. Which, in the end, makes me love you all the more. This is how I see things. This is how I process grief. You are the billow. I am the flame.

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