I Count Down the Hours

I don’t know why it happened today, but I’m gearing up for a full-blown panic attack. I’m frozen n my breathe has become shallow. My muscles are tightening n the tears I need to cry are turning to ice. My heart aches.

ON THE ROCKS

I count down the hours until nightfall, when my mind is frozen in silence again.

The moon is my buffer against life and it quells the pain.

The daylight brings panic and the nightfall brings sedation,

from the corners of my fears to the riddles of the day’s hesitations.

Under the cover of darkness, the world is frozen in time and I don’t feel such a rush;

In the day, I feel so behind the rest … in this depeche mode of push, push, push.

I could cry, but the tears won’t fall.

They’re like shards of glass, blocking my way … and they’re over ten feet tall.

My irrational thoughts are piercing my skin;

My muscles are tightening as I soak in the weight of my sin.

It’s getting harder to breathe as my body turns to stone;

My fears cripple me the harder they are thrown.

Days like this, I wish someone would just knock…

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