Happiness has a glow all its own, it’s radiant and looks good on absolutely everyone. I experimented with a boudoir photoshoot in February for the man who broke my heart. The shots looked good then and to be perfectly honest, I had a blast doing it. It’s worth a shot to try. You kinda of automatically tap into this primal, raw, sexual energy. It’s liberating.
I was just freshly released from the hospitals where I was sober for about 4-5 months. Then I slipped up and gave in and lost all hope. I was completely lost. And I’m sure in the beginning, I walked into that bar looking like the sad walrus I was. It’s not a good look and I did it nearly everyday. But overtime, something shifted.
Then – severely depressed:
I haven’t taken a picture of myself since that night that I cried into the camera, until last night when a brave curiosity came over me. Sure, I looked in the mirror for the seconds it took to whip on mascara and eyeliner, but other than that, I really had no idea what I looked like and I didn’t care. Men at the bar always told me, and I believed I was beautiful on the inside, but felt and knew I looked like a wreck on the outside. I was shocked because that image of me, bloated from alcohol and crying, was burnt into my head for all these months.
For the past month I’ve been staying away from the bar, eating right and walking here and there. Sure, things aren’t perfect, but I’m happier overall. I’m just blown away to see such a drastic change in such a short amount of time. This shit works and it works well! Happiness is contagious and it was about time I caught its glow.
I showed them to that man who was the main reason for my depression and manic spell. Now his head is spinning and I fully intended for that to be the outcome. He deserves it, plus some. Time heals all wounds and now he wants me to be his selfie whisperer so he can upload the pictures to a dating site. Watch out world and I couldn’t be any more serious saying that. Watch the fuck out. He’s on the loose and he’s gonna kill it. I’ll gladly do it.
If that isn’t healing, I don’t know what is. 😉
Now – stable, happy and healed: