Suspended.

I wonder sometimes. What does it look like – the moment suspended between two split-second decisions that ultimately changes the course of our lives forever? Images of high-speed photography come to mind. You know the ones where photos capture the moment of impact between a bullet and apple, the freeze-frame photos of someone’s sneeze, or the frozen water droplet before initial impact with a puddle … or … the burst of chemistry only found within the moment right before the first kiss. There’s so much power in these fleeting points in time … so many questions … so much anticipation for the end result.

But I am not talking about the end result … not yet. I’m talking about the moment between that has the power to dramatically transform our lives … the suspense held within time; frozen in the air and laden with free will or fate. Are all of our decisions laced with the weight of these profound moments, or are there only a select few throughout our time here on earth that can be held in this space of deep and meaningful significance?

We go through life making decisions every single second. Each one that could have a profound impact on our lives, whether that be disastrous or insanely beautiful. We aren’t even consciously making them most of the time.

Just imagine then, if you will, how your life would look had you made a left turn instead of right at an extreme turning point in your life. Take a significant past relationship for instance … look back and see all the events that shaped your life from the moment you said hello to the moment you said goodbye. Maybe it was years. Maybe it was months. Maybe it was a brief encounter. Regardless, it was significant. Something hung in the air in the initial greeting. Something made you decide to move into the future with this person or cut ties, something made you hang onto words said or a glance stolen, something made you decide to see this as significant.

Those moments. Yes. That. Moment. Right. There. Suspended, as if fate.

In that moment lies intense energy saturated with love, fear, insane bravery, flight or fight, emotional trauma and baggage, expectations, pain, intuition, imagination, fantasy, desire, anticipation, or perhaps something as fleeting and mysterious as Déjà Vu.

I’m beginning to think that fate may exist afterall. I think we may see everything as a result of free will because we miss the enormity in that singular, microscopic, split-second moment hovering between our decisions. Is fate that very moment in which we have no control? Does that very moment hold the key to every single string of consequence formed from either decision for the rest of our lives?

When I look back on my life, I see a distinct pattern emerge. It is not in fact the mystery within the direct consequence of either decision made that I crave … it is the precise moment suspended between the two. I crave it because therein lies zero control.

Dear God, that must be beautiful. Enough to create a series around.

 

 

 

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